The Single Girl's Guide to Online Dating: Episode 4: The Sexually Inappropriate Alcoholic
Time to diversify things a little, after all I'm totally equal opportunity when it comes to my dating. So this post is about a different branch of service. Although I won't disclose which one, because while some of the shit that I was put through as a result of this is funny, now, someone having a drinking problem certainly is not. So let's laugh at the mess that I dealt with, and hope that this person is in a better place!
He started calling me, and wanting to talk, I didn't really understand the purpose of the long calls, and as someone who doesn't spend long amounts of time on the phone, I was kind of confused. A few of these calls, with some ramblings about things that didn't make sense went by and I continue to memory bank the info. No plans of another meet up being made.
He calls one night, late. I screened the call. It was late and I didn't want to talk. Well he proceeded to call a lot more. I finally answered and he was incoherent in what he was saying. He was kind of loud, rambling, and sort of aggressive. I finally got him off of the phone and was pretty disturbed by the call. I decided then that I wouldn't be talking to him further. He texted the next morning with a long "I'm sorry, I was drunk, I shouldn't have called you and done that..." yadda yadda. Me being the forgiving person that I am, let it slide. Ladies (or gentleman) if a mofo does some shit like this, 1. they've got a problem and 2. they're just not into you, show a boo to the door. So I let these shenanigans carry on who knows why. I had zero intentions of meeting him or seeing him again.
The next call was horrendous. Within seconds he was asking me where I like a guy to cum on me. Say what homie?
So this scenario is slightly more unique than others in that there was a common connection between me and said fellow (one that I discovered, but that he did not know about). You see, I had been talking to a good friend and she mentioned this person who she knew, like hey maybe I should try to set you up with him, well some days passed, maybe a week, and I "matched" online with this guy, I instantly recognized pictures that she had sent me, I did a quick screenshot and sent them to her to confirm. All signs a go, same guy. Hilarious. Perhaps this would turn out to be an amazing story. I laugh now as I'm typing this, amazing indeed. At any rate, we (my friend and I) both kind of agreed to just continue with the online format, let it play out, and not say anything about the mutual connection that we had. So I did just that. I tried to do my own screenings, everything seemed ok. He was a little rough around the edges, but I'd been single a while and I'm probably a little rough around the edges too!
After talking for a while we agreed to meet for coffee at a very public place, a large mall in Okinawa. Perfect. It was ok, nothing great, but also not terrible. Did I leave there wanting a second date, uncertain. I left there thinking, hmm, definitely rough around the edges. What happened after this one, VERY short encounter of coffee was something I never saw coming.
He had my phone number as we had talked for a while online and I felt ok giving it to him. He texted quite a bit and some of his messages kind of raised an eyebrow but I just dismissed them and thought it was part of that "rough around the edges thing".
He started calling me, and wanting to talk, I didn't really understand the purpose of the long calls, and as someone who doesn't spend long amounts of time on the phone, I was kind of confused. A few of these calls, with some ramblings about things that didn't make sense went by and I continue to memory bank the info. No plans of another meet up being made.
He calls one night, late. I screened the call. It was late and I didn't want to talk. Well he proceeded to call a lot more. I finally answered and he was incoherent in what he was saying. He was kind of loud, rambling, and sort of aggressive. I finally got him off of the phone and was pretty disturbed by the call. I decided then that I wouldn't be talking to him further. He texted the next morning with a long "I'm sorry, I was drunk, I shouldn't have called you and done that..." yadda yadda. Me being the forgiving person that I am, let it slide. Ladies (or gentleman) if a mofo does some shit like this, 1. they've got a problem and 2. they're just not into you, show a boo to the door. So I let these shenanigans carry on who knows why. I had zero intentions of meeting him or seeing him again.
The next call was horrendous. Within seconds he was asking me where I like a guy to cum on me. Say what homie?
We had coffee then you drunk dialed my ass, and now this. But it got worse...and worse...I finally hung up on him. He called a million times that night. I never answered again. He texted a million times. Some of the filthiest messages I've ever received. I have a foul mouth and this shit made me blush reading it. Finally the next day when it didn't stop (mind you I wasn't responding or answering any of the calls) I blocked his number on my phone (apparently when you block someone it doesn't take effect immediately), I remember driving to my good friends house for dinner and the messages still piling in.
While I know that this persons filth and drama had nothing to do with me and everything to do with an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, it did none the less have a super unpleasant impact on my dating at that time. I took a good chunk of time off of dating after this one, and was VERY reluctant to give my number out for a while. I'm 37 and feel like I should be beyond the point of having to block someone on my phone, but sadly, that list is growing, and it's becoming much easier to do now!
Do online dating they say...
it's fun they say!
While unfortunate at the time, this situation is completely freaking laughable now...I mean come on, someone calling and asking you something so ridiculous...can you imagine my face?
Next up:
Episode 5: This is Tinder
Episode 5: This is Tinder
This is a special episode of some of the "gems" that have come to me via Tinder...that have been left swipes haha!
If you have missed previous episodes of this mini series you can check them out here:
Episode 1: The Background
Episode 1: The Background
Episode 2: The 2 Witnesses
Episode 3: (Definitely NOT) Single TDY Guy
Leave a comment about which one has been your favorite so far!
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